"I had not a dispute but a disquisition with Dilke, on various subjects; several things dovetailed in my mind, & at once it struck me, what quality went to form a Man of Achievement especially in literature & which Shakespeare possessed so enormously - I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts without any irritable reaching after fact & reason."
--John Keats
When have easy answers ever answered hard questions? When has real truth ever been easy? Talking about truth that melts the fist-tight clench in your jaw as wet salt waterfalls down your cheeks. And it just… don't… stop. It's an underground spring, breaking from fissures in bedrock, running down the mountainside. Warm brine slow cascades down the rolling hills of your face. Clean and assuring. It's alright now, baby. Not just now, but always. Just you do what needs doing.
Perhaps, at the end of a moment, of a day, of a lifetime, this sinew-torn, blood-wrought clarity is all there is. This spare stillness that comes from seeing just what it is that needs to be done. There's a moment before this clarity bursts through like a gentle hurricane, like a whispering tornado. Duration: 1/64th of an eyeblink. So, now. Listen like you're the mother deer protecting her fawn. Damp nose arched with unwavering intent into the wind's face. Wolves. Getting close. Listen like this; you'll hear it. Clarity's sound has no choice but to reveal itself. Never knew how to do otherwise. Can't bear being hidden.
The 10,000 muscles and bones of your body strain and burn as a potential anything enshrouds you in tar blackness, viscous like the substance of dreams. As you float in the balance, between this world and the next, stand heart-bared, with a delicate and tender not-knowing. This not-knowing contains every breath ever breathed, every struggle that shaped you, made you truly human. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll find what you seek in the same place it's always been. Hovering free, ever-suspended, an index finger's width from the tip of your nose. -- Kohl Sudduth
